Mr. Spero William Aretakis

Spero William, Aretakis was born on June 20, 1965 at U. S. Naval Hospital, U. S. Marine Corps Base, Twenty-nine Palms, Ca. He was the first beloved child of his parents, Peter John and Hazel Earleen Scott Aretakis. His paternal grandparents were Spero and Edna Beasley Aretakis from Bronx, New York City. His maternal grandparents were Cleveland Raymond and Margaret Ruth Stewart Scott of St Joseph, Mo. He passed away on March 6, 2014. Spero's childhood was in Vista, CA; he attended school in the San Marcos Unified school district from the second grade. He graduated from San Marcos High school in 1983. He became a Licensed Vocational Nurse and was working in this profession at the time of his death. The following is the Eulogy read at his memorial service at the LDS church, San Marcos, CA on Saturday, March 15, 2014 by his brother. Jiddi Kristnamurti, a well known 20th century Philosopher, said "All experiences offer opportunity for growth which make people from the point of view of experience equal because we all grow from our experiences." He went on to say, "No one experience is better than another, just different." I stand here today to tell you about my brother's experience. I stand here today to tell you about my brother's growth. I can tell you he loved his friends. He loved his mother and father. He loved his sister and nephew. He loved his children. I can tell you he loved me. I can also tell you that he would have loved that we were all here today to mourn his death and celebrate his life. I can tell you he would have loved that we were together. I can tell you Spero loved to play sports. When it came to playing sports I think many would agree my brother had the heart of a lion. At San Marcos High School he lettered in football, baseball and wrestling, and he loved to play golf. He could drive a golf ball further than most. But the sport that my brother and I loved to play together was basketball. Some of the best experiences I had with my brother were on the basketball court. We played on just about every full court and half court in the area. Rusted and broken basketball rims, torn nets, countless sprained ankles, seemingly endless disagreements and even a few fist fights, all eventually settled with a do or die from the top of the key, were just a few of the experiences my brother, our friends and I had playing basketball. Playing basketball helped him grow. He learned to run faster, jump higher, shoot better and play as part of a team, but most of all his basketball experiences taught him to have fun. My brother loved to fish. As teenagers, one late night, we snuck out of the house, liberated my mom's car and went to Lake San Marcos with a few fishing poles and a bucket of crawdads. I remember my brother got a bite. He let the line go out, lowered the tip of the pole, pulled up sharply and hooked the fish. I can still see the fishing pole bending and twisting in the moonlight and the intense look on my brother's face as he reeled in what might as well have been Moby Dick in the imaginative minds of two teenagers. I watched as my brother reeled in the biggest catfish I have ever seen in person. It must have weighed 15 pounds and measured two feet. Then.....there are the experiences my brother had with his friends, Lara told me of a story about sneaking out of her house with my brother. Her mom found out after she left and locked Lara out of the house and called the cops. The cops found my brother, Lara and a few friends in one of the most common places San Marcos teenagers went when they snuck out, a San Marcos cul-de-sac. Lara said my brother and her both had, "big hair," and she could have easily passed as his sister. Spero acted like he was her brother and quickly talked their way out of the situation. Eventually, my brother took Lara home, and I was happy to hear Lara was let back into her house. That experience taught my brother that parent's worry about the safety of their children, but that sneaking out was not a real crime and most importantly it was fun. Having an older brother had its advantages. Roni, my brother's high school sweetheart and my dear friend, once helped me take off a day of school. I went to the nurses office and told the nurse I was sick. She asked for my mother's phone number. I gave her the number to the pay phone that was out front of the nurses office. The door to the nurse's office was open. As the nurse dialed the number, I could hear the pay phone ring. I watched as Roni answered it. The nurse thought she was talking to my mother, and I held back laughter as I watched Roni convincingly act like my mom. I was sent home. Spero's friends became my friends and my family. Roni and I are still dear friends and we still laugh about the day she got me out of school. That day I learned that it pays to have a big brother. My brother had a lot of fun with his friends. One night Roni, Matt, Spero and Kim were in Matt's Jacuzzi. According to Roni, Spero got out of the Jacuzzi, went into the kitchen and got a full bottle of Palmolive dish soap. Spero laughed as he squeezed every last drop of soap into the Jacuzzi and Roni and Kim yelled, "More bubbles...more bubbles." The next thing they knew bubbles had spread far and wide and engulfed the entire back yard. They laughed so hard, they cried. The next day Matt cried as he drained and cleaned every inch of the Jacuzzi at the stern request of his parents.. There are many more stories. Toilet papering houses, sitting on large blocks of ice and sliding down steep grass hills, and my brother riding on the top of a car through Quest Haven come to mind, but I will leave those stories to be remembered by those who knew and loved Spero most. My brother wore his heart on his sleeve. If he was angry, you knew it. If he was happy, you knew it. If he was confused, you knew it. If he cried, you knew it. A few months ago Spero and I spoke and he was adamant about wanting to heal the wounds in our family, especially with his sister. I was not as receptive as I wished I had been. I did not think it was possible. But now that he is gone, I wish I had listened to him. After my brother's death, my Face book was overrun with support and love for my brother and my family. Many people wrote many kind things. It brought me to tears on more than one occasion. I was truly touched. I heard of the loss of loved ones in other families from many of the people who showed my family loving support. My heart and prayers go out to each and everyone one of them, especially the Arce family, who recently loss their son. The outpour of support and hearing of the loss of other loved ones made me realize that we are one big family. It made me realize that we are all truly connected. Thirty five years ago, when I was ten years old we had a baby sitter. I can still see her, but I never knew her name. I just remember we had a water fight and my brother, my sister and I soaked this very nice baby sitter with water. She never came back after that, but I never forgot her. I always wondered who she was and the other day I found out when she called me and offered support for my families loss. I was blown away that this nice lady who had been on my Face book for a long time was the same baby sitter I had soaked. We spoke for three hours on the phone. I got to make my amends for my water crimes and the conversation we had was complex. I knew she got it. I knew she understood some of the deeper underlying issues that cause people that should stay close to pull away from each other. Her name is Monica, and it's her Face book comment that stuck out. Monica wrote, "It's been a rough couple of weeks. We've all got to stop and let those we love and care about know we are here and that we love them. If Spero's story means anything to all of us it's that we need to take better care of ourselves and others!" Thank you Monica. Your words go a long way. Some of you know that I like to write. I often ask myself what makes a good character in a story. I soon realized my brother would make a memorable character, not because he was perfect but because he wasn't. The best characters in a story are never perfect and that is what makes them human and therefore memorable. It is not their perfection that resonates with readers and makes them memorable. It is their imperfections because most readers know they too are imperfect, so they can relate to a character's imperfections. Spero Aretakis was beautiful. He was brave. He was emotional and like many of us in some ways he was wounded. We all know my brother was not a character in a book. He was something much more important. He was just like everyone in this room. He was human. In closing, I want to tell you about a story my mother recently shared with me. My Mother's good friend Marsha had a vision shortly after my brother's death. She saw my brother, my Dad and a middle age lady in Heaven having a good time together. Marsha told my mother the lady was my Grandmother, who had died at the age of 42 when my mother was 17. My mother's mother, my Grandmother was having a wonderful time meeting her first grandchild. My brother had never met her. It is nice to know that my brother is in the spirit world getting to know someone he never met while he was on earth. I know many of us will miss my brother. But I believe we will all have the opportunity to see our loved ones in heaven. I will miss Spero, but I look forward to seeing him one day in the world of the spirit, the ocean of oneness, along with my Dad and at least one Grandmother I have never met. Until then...I hope my brother's death helps people realize what is truly important. I believe soul mates come down from heaven in groups, just like this group. It has been said that if Earth is a school, relationship is the University. I hope my brother's death will help people come together and experience closer relationships. Many people here have not seen each other in a long time. Even though we are here to mourn, I know my brother would have wanted us to have fun. I hope you will laugh and exchange numbers so old friendships will be rekindled and new ones will be formed. I hope while we mourn his death. we have fun, because life is often hard and experiencing fun is one of the greatest lessons we can experience.

Mr. Spero William Aretakis

June 20, 1965 - March 6, 2014